Friday, July 01, 2005

A Purpose for Everything

What's yours? What's mine? If I told you what I think it is, would you believe me? If I told you that I felt if I actually told you what I believe it is, I would merely be reciting catechism--would you be horrified? It feels like hypocrisy, and yet I don't doubt its truth. Neither do I doubt the truth of what I believe--yet because of my hypocrisy, I doubt whether I truly believe it.

What does it mean to glorify God? I know what it certainly doesn't mean--to seek my own comfort and glory, to seek to put to rest all misgivings about the way I live my sorry life. It doesn't mean to be fearful of every change, to see danger even in the mundane. It means a risk and a security. A laying down of one's life for God's service, and a knowledge that even should one perish, that life is secure in His keeping, and no conceivable power can snatch it away.

It means a daily sacrifice of all that I want to all that He asks. It means a discipline of my entire self to be subject and devoted to the Lord of glory. It means perfect slavery and perfect freedom. It means glorious defeat and eternal victory. It means I am nothing and He is all.

It means...I'm choking on my pride. Defeated by my raging desires. Glory to me! I will rule!

...For what purpose? My flesh has no answer to that.

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