Monday, February 17, 2014

Battle Hymn of the Intrepid Faithful Believers

Listen up, you serious Christians,
you on whom we all rely--
when we need a strong example,
weak-willed fools need not apply.

Damn you fools, in your depression--
 get your faces off the floor.
God despises lazy brutes
who cower from the battle's fore.

Damn you sorry rabble, in whom
lack and failure coincide--
Listen up, you slobs, the Bible works
if you'd so much as tried.

As for all you gold star Christians
winning souls, redeeming time;
we are giving you a mission:
Get the rest of them in line.

God rewards your utter patience.
When His kingdom's glory dawns,
you'll be wearing golden medals;
they'll be lucky to get bronze.

Honest work. Just reward.
That's the way to please the LORD.