Listen up, you serious Christians,
you on whom we all rely--
when we need a strong example,
weak-willed fools need not apply.
Damn you fools, in your depression--
get your faces off the floor.
God despises lazy brutes
who cower from the battle's fore.
Damn you sorry rabble, in whom
lack
and failure coincide--
Listen up, you slobs, the Bible works
if you'd so much as tried.
As for all you gold star Christians
winning souls, redeeming time;
we are giving you a mission:
Get the rest of them in line.
God rewards your utter patience.
When His kingdom's glory dawns,
you'll be wearing golden medals;
they'll be lucky to get bronze.
Honest work. Just reward.
That's the way to please the LORD.
